Our Girl Pearl

Pearl Isabella Victory Conway-Keon

October 28, 1918-January 1, 2011

Died in Peace at Home, Surrounded by Loved Ones

After all our watching and waiting, we’re still surprised when we finally hear the words, “It’s time“. We gather around the bed, listening to the shallow breathing of this beloved woman who has been fighting this moment for a week. It is expected, yet seems so sudden; too soon, really, after a lifetime of loving her.


Her white-haired daughter weeps, her white-haired son stands awkwardly some distance away. I, his daughter, gently urge him forward, telling him to touch his mother, to talk to her, to let her know she is loved and not alone. He squats down beside the bed, placing his hand on her face with surprising gentleness, whispers the single word, “Mom”…

Her eyes open suddenly, and their look is wild, fervent, focussed on something we cannot see. I’ve heard of this but have never witnessed it. What does she see? A light, or a tunnel? Her breathing comes in gasps, and those of us surrounding her cry and wait, telling her it’s time, telling her it’s okay to go, telling her we love her and to please send our love to Grandpa. Then we sing,

May the road rise to meet you, may the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face, the rain fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

My mother, the nurse, the caregiver, and this woman’s cherished daughter-in-law tells us there will be one last gasp, and there…there it is.

I place my hand on her chest, now peaceful, and cry anew to feel the stillness there where for 92 years a heart beat steady and true. This mystery of death is a gift to those of us present, as powerful and transformative as birth. We cry with sorrow, with relief, and with joy at the image that comes unbidden to our minds:

Pearl walks quickly, drawn by some unknown pull, her white heels clicking…then, up ahead, she sees a familiar form, one she hasn’t seen in a long time. Eldon looks as if he’s been waiting a lifetime; his head is turned the other way; he doesn’t see her coming. She is about to call his name, when slowly, he turns his face towards her. His face is alight with love and joy, and he opens his arms to her. She is running now, young and dark-haired; she crosses the distance between them in the space of a heartbeat. Then she is in his arms, drawn in by their strength and familiarity. It is as if a mere moment has passed since they last held each other, though it has been more than twenty years. She does not hear the crying that she has left behind her; all she hears is the strong beating of his heart and hers, and their own tears of happiness.